BS, Hairdroppers, taste-testing

Empty space

I intend to talk about food in a moment, really.

I want to say thank you with all my heart to those of you that left comments and sent emails over the past week.

We have an empty space here at Just Not Dinner.  For the most part, The Gidge and Baby have been normal, but that changed over the last two days.  I was awakened by Baby on Thursday morning – he was standing on my pillow, pawing at the pillowcase, and yowling to beat the band (remember that my hair was Sylvester’s sleeping spot his whole life).  He has taken to lounging for long periods in the top of Sylvester’s cat tree in our bedroom; Baby HATES this cat tree because there’s an opening in the top bed and he has never spent any major amount of time in it.  He also makes a point of calling Sylvester (loudly) at feeding time.  Gidget has done something strange as well – we have a green cat tree in our living room that is shaped like a house at the bottom and has a ledge for chillin’ at the top.  Sylvester spent a lot of time in the house part of this tree.  The other night, Gidget worked her way into the house, turned around, and laid there with her chin on her paws.

And me?

I cry a minimum of twice a day.  I can’t do anything “normal” without thinking of my sweet pea, even something as simple as blowdrying my hair, as I had to do this morning.  I am struggling with a tremendous amount of guilt, even though I know I did the right thing at the right time.  I have no appetite and have lost nearly 10 pounds since the Sunday that Sylvester got sick.  I can’t look at the video I made last week Friday without.  As long as I am keeping my brain busy in one way or another, I am fine.  As soon as I have an opportunity to think or have to do something that he would have involved himself in, it’s over.

The Man and I intend to create a memorial garden of sorts, not just for Vester, but also for The Man’s parents.  I have ordered a necklace from Whispers in the Heart so I can put some of his fur in it and while I am carrying his collar on my purse strap right now, when his ashes arrive, the collar will go around the urn.

I am sure I will babble on about my sweet boy quite a bit over the next while, so please be patient with me.

Now.

Yesterday, I finally managed to eat twice in one day.  Today, three meals.  Can you believe it?  I’m not sure I do.

Since I started this blog two years ago in October, I have gotten samples from various companies, receiving books, rice, bread, and most recently gluten-free teriyaki sauce fron Seal Sama.  I stashed one bottle on my pantry shelves in the basement and the other went into my kitchen cabinet.  Numerous things happened to distract me from trying it.  I was half-heartedly debating the possibility of making myself something for dinner tonight and was pushing through my cabinets looking for something – anything – that looked appealing.  I found some jade pearl rice from Lotus Foods, received as a sample and completely forgotten about, and the teriyaki.  Some green beans from my garden steamed with tomatoes, shallots, garlic, and fresh basil, and I had dinner.  I actually felt hungry as I was cooking.

I grabbed a piece of salmon from the freezer, quickly defrosted it most of the way, and then placed it into a plastic bag with a good half cup of the teriyaki sauce.  Into the fridge it went to marinate while I prepared the rice.  After a half hour, I heated the oven to 400 degrees, popped the salmon in, and got to work on the beans.  Very shortly I had a pretty good meal.

Verdict?  I like my teriyaki sauce a little sweeter, but this really is quite good.  And the rice was slightly sweet, which went well with the salmon.  And my greenie beanies were terrific, too.

Would I buy Seal Sama’s gluten-free teriyaki sauce?  Absolutely.  How about Lotus Food’s jade pearl rice?  Damn straight.

Now.  What exactly has been going on around here?  A plethora of bad things.  First bad thing: The Man did something….well, the only word I can come up with is “stupid”…which I believe led to losing his job at the end of May.  Second bad thing: I found out about some money things that I didn’t know about before.  Third bad thing: Vester.  Fourth bad thing: Sewer back-up.

Other than Vester, all of these issues (and I am sure there are more, but all are overshadowed in my mind by my loss of my best buddy) are no more.  The Man starts his new job on Monday – and while he won’t be making the money he made before, he will be HAPPY – no more 24/7/365 on-call status.  I truly believe that the industry he was in before led to other…issues…for him that have essentially been non-existent since he lost his job.  So everyone applaud for The Man, who will hopefully now have a less stressful work environment.

And applaud for my 88-year-old maternal grandfather, who underwent hip replacement surgery on Thursday and has been yelled at by his doctors and nurses for getting up and walking on his own.

So while we continue to reel from the emotional battering we have received these past months, good things are still popping up.

Recipes coming soon, I promise.

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2 thoughts on “Empty space

  1. It’s so sad to hear how the other cats miss him. Your grief makes me want to go hug my own kitty.

    Glad to hear some things are looking up. I hope they continue to!

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