BS, Sweets, The Vault

I’ll trade my vacation for cake

Just think – if you attend the Gluten and Allergen-Free Expo next weekend, you could witness possible acts of awkwardness perpetuated by yours truly.  C'mon…it'll be fun! 

Happy Easter, everyone.  I sincerely hope that no one has coma-ed themselves with chocolate.  I was smart this year and tempered the chocolate fix with a little peanut butter.  However, my poor body hasn't eaten this many bad carbs in I don't know how long (this is all my fault as I cooked) and it's not amused.

This past week was the first in a monthly spree of weeks off of work.  I actually have enough time accumulated that after scheduling a week's vacation every month through the rest of the year, I'll still have almost 3 weeks left unused.

Gotta like that.

So.  Like I said, vacation last week.  Naturally, this meant rain, wind, and cold pretty much the entire week.  And when there's rain, wind and cold, I'm in pain.  Much of the time was spent reading while cuddled up on a blanket under the couch…  Wait.  Strike that – reverse it.  We had no tornado sirens that I recall, so I would not have jammed myself under the incliners, I don't think.

Although I did discover a mysterious 4" bruise on my left thigh this morning.  Maybe I stuffed myself under the loveseat in my sleep.

We did have fairly decent weather one day – Thursday, I think it was. And by fairly decent, I mean the sun actually showed itself for longer than a millisecond.  I was so happy to see the sun that I fell straight into stupid.

Since I was cooped up, so was The Gidge.  She and I began a game of fetch in the house; if I park myself at the far end of the living room to chuck the ball down the hallway and into the second bedroom, her little legs can get a good run going.  We did this for a few minutes before she decided to channel me and be a smartass, refusing to drop the ball.  So I chased her around a bit.  In the living room, this is fine.  We have carpet.  However, the tard dashed into the dining room and kitchen.  Where we installed laminate flooring a few years ago, as you may recall.

If I don't have shoes on, I wear slippers or socks with rubber-grippy-things on them, because of the laminate.  For some unknown reason, on Thursday morning, I had put on a pair of footie socks and did not remember to add the slippers.

The Gidge, for all her 12 pounds and short shih tsu legs, is a fast little shit when she wants to be.  Without considering my footwear situation, I chased her out of the bedroom, down the hall, into the living room (where we ran around the coffee table a few times because that's how she rolls), and….onto the laminate.  In socks.  Running.  On.  Laminate.  Socks.  Bad.

Did you know that laminate flooring and socks don't get along?

By the time I got past the table and slid into the open area, while The Gidge watched from the vicinity of the back door, ball in mouth, it was too late to stop.  But I tried, so I didn't end up faceplanting into the cabinets or microwave.  I grabbed for the counter across from the fridge.  Which stopped the upper part of my body pretty well.

My feet – not so much.  Hello splits.  Owie.

The Gidge thought this was part of the game.  There I was on the floor, hands still clamped around the counter edge, undecided if I should laugh or cry, and she trotted over, dropped the ball by my right foot, and barked twice.

Yeah, I'll get right on that, dog.  After you help me get my ass off the floor.

After the sun went away again (it was nice while it lasted), I curled up on the couch once more, played some idiotic Facebook games, and considered the fact that I wanted cake.  Cake, you know, is the only thing that matters.  Cake makes everything better and I needed some better after that stunning display.  I knew it must somehow be chocolatey and peanut butter wouldn't hurt.

These were Easter dessert.  I've already eaten two…on top of rolls, scalloped corn, and mashed potatoes.  I'm going to have to do 1,200 miles on the treadmill to work this carb overload off.

Peanut Butter Cupcakes

1/4 cup white rice flour

1/4 cup millet flour

1/4 cup tapioca flour

1/4 arrowroot flour

1 tsp xanthan gum

3/4 cup brown sugar

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

3/4 cup milk

1/3 cup peanut butter

1 egg

2 tbsp canola oil

1 tsp vanilla

3/4 cup chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Line a muffin pan with 12 cupcake liners.

Stir together all of the dry ingredients (including the chocolate chips) in a medium bowl.  In a large bowl, whisk together all of the wet ingredients.  Add the dry ingredients to the wet and stir until well combined.  Fill the liners in the prepared pan about 2/3s full.

Bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center of one of the cupcakes comes out clean.  Remove from the pan and place on a wire rack to cool completely before frosting.

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